the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
