Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Randomize
