I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
