I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
