Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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