eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
