I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
