what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
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