We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Randomize