Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
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