This is not my ceiling
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
