you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
