My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
he wants to bone in the snuggie
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Randomize
