You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
