Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
