in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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