did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize