called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
