I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
