I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
