Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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