My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
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