break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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