But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
