I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
