Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Randomize
