Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
ugly people sure do ruin things
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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