if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Randomize
