i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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