Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
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