Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
the day after is always just damage control
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Also, beer. Big fan.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
