forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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