If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I didn't notice because vodka
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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