Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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