Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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