Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
