I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I just cut my nipple shaving
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
