Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
