Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
