I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize