dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
