That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
