Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
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