their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
