did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
