You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
