He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
