you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
