i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
