I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
