? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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