so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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