I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
