It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
