do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
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