Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
