sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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