Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
