So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
We left the knife in your bed.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Randomize