Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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