It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
