Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
