She said her name was "party"
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize