Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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