We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
