I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
i may or may not be watching the land before time
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize