Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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