sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
