dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
