Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
