i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
