You can't motorboat a personality
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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