Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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