oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
