Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
